i felt so strong 

at the airport alone it was a nice feeling to be here without tears in my eyes 

i feel strong at times 

but on this plane home i feel so weak

i was reminded of our time there 

im thinking about driving around and seeing places and being reminded of you,

it feels like it was just january 

i remember your smell

your touch

i desperately miss those things and despise them at the same time 

i want to be clear headed 

be strong in myself

not think about why he didn’t love me enough, 

he doesn’t,

maybe thats the part that hurts the most, 

i dont love you anymore and part of me still does, 

i am still hurting