i opened my sleep cycle app, i haven't looked at it in months. i went back to clear old history and found dates with recordings of his voice. an argument, crying, us in bed laughing, him making a joke about frankie teardrop. another audio of him asking to watch microhabitat and i sleepily answer yes. i forgot he even mentioned that film. i feel guilty for watching it recently. i feel sad if he saw me log it. i guess i should disassociate everything with him, like when he watched films we were going to watch -with her, days after we broke up. he doesn't care, he never cared about my feelings, never appreciated me. the idea that someone could just let go of all association with someone they've spent almost a year with, that's what crushes me. its like i was nothing