it was my aunt's first birthday without my uncle. it's crushing when i think about how she feels- continuing life without someone who was so engrained in her life. to celebrate a year of life but to also think about the death of a husband, friend, soulmate. my mom said we're all connected and that when something happens to one of us, it affects the other so deeply. she said if anything happened to any one of us, she wouldn't be able to live. that made me feel so guilty.